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Ayt, here’s something to piss some people off. Hehehe.

I’m browsing the net and I saw this ad:

(I would like to state and clarify that this is a sham. I’m only posting the ad and the link in the ad just so I won’t look like making things up. XD I suggest that if you are easily swayed, you keep your mouse pointer away from the pic but if you get what I mean, then I think it’s ok to click on it.)

Now… The first thing I noticed that the site which opened up was newsdaily7 dot com. Then I noticed that the post has been last updated today, February 21, 2011. Afterwards, reading along, I noticed that all Comments were done Yesterday, February 20, 2011 from 6:53 AM to 9:43 PM but making sure there is a random amount of time in between posts but making sure there is a post within every hour between 6:00 AM and 10:00 PM.

Yep, they could be considered good by some but not by me. Could it be a little less obvious? (RAGE MODE!!!) And why do they have to say that Google is behind this? Credibility? Please… Google has been helping countless people by the second around the world for free and you guys try to “use” that credibility and you think you’re smart?

Oh, please do promise me that the next time you try to do something like this, you make a better way of fooling people into doing stuff for you. (Like giving you their money or at least some credit card details.

On another note, why does the Ad Companies approve such ads? Is it just because they pay good? Or is it because they get to play a part in shitting on Google’s face without being fully liable since it was a customer who posted the ad?


Anyway, the best lesson when it comes to earning money online: “If it’s too good to be true, it ain’t.


Err, too curious to try this one out. Just fresh outta my inbox.

(Edit: the first code that Yahoo gave me was a failure so I’ll just place a URL here.)

(Will update this after testing.)

Been testing it a bit. So far the major noticeable change is the Layout. It looks good. Other than that, I’m still to see if there’s any real difference with the previous version.

So, if you want change and is always up for updates, this one is for you. But if the type who still prefers what you’re used to and is not really that accustomed to change, maybe you should think twice before clicking on the “I Agree” button.

Isn’t it Beautiful how a song could be understood through the bounds of language.


I closed my eyes and listened to this song… Now I feel ready. I am no longer afraid to be just another memory once again.

I may fade but still, I know for as long as you remember, I would still be a dream worth remembering.


…So I’ll make the most of what I can.


(Or use the either the “Distance” Routine or the “I’m currently busy with something” routine or the “Jealousy” routine. But I do not want to use the “Doormat” Routine. I’m not that kinda poor loser. XD)

Could it be just a phase wherein I find it so hard to find inspiration to actually do anything valid? Like I can be inspired bow but only good for like five minutes? And what of the other things I do?

Or could it just be an awkward adjustment phase wherein I find it hard that I can’t do the things I do before and If I can still do them, it’s not as fast. Taking like, maybe 10 times (more like 20) longer than they did before?

Or do I just lack the focus to do stuff? Have I really lost my goal? Am I a floating piece of Driftwood lost at sea hoping some Orchid enthusiast would pick me up and put me to better use as an orchid stand? To be useful only by staying still and laying dormant?

Did I just lose sight of the horizon I used to see? Was all the laid out plans gone to waste really getting to me now? Or was it all the wasted efforts slaving for a company only to be laid off and having to endure the insults of having been accused of crimes which never happened? Which if I did happen to commit, I would have committed in a way more classier and in a definitely grander effectivity.

Or is it just the flames continuously lost inspiring me for a week, maybe a day (or less) only to get me expired the next? Maybe I should just stop womanizing online and reserve leave my womanizing efforts for the real world. Oh, I remember now… I can’t be as effective I am online as I am in the Real World… since I don’t look as good. And online, I’m only as sexy as my wits. XD

So, what am I really supposed to do? I remember back then, I had a simple solution. I go to a strip club and get an Ice Cold bottle of Pilsen and enjoy the show. Maybe even get a Lap Dance if I can afford it. But, nah, I can’t afford any of those now. I’m broke.

But I did get a hint of luck. The girl on the previous post gave me her number. The sad part is, I can’t call her. She lives in the US. XD How am I supposed to afford a regular communications budget for Overseas Calls? If I’m leaning towards that, I’ll just get back to regularly visiting strip clubs. That’s way more affordable than that and more practical too. That was I still could talk to them face to face and I would be able to actually touch them. Not just hold on to a voice on the telephone.

The heck, I got an internet line because I wanted to save on my Communications expenses. Not to roughly add up to the bills.

Kudos to me! The only person in the world I know who quit being a Genius at age 16 and now, the only one I know who also quit being a workaholic to be a bum.

Found this on Youtube and remembered what Boss Neckro said.

12:54 AM, February 5, 2011

Sitting on my usual chair on my usual Dining table-turned-Work Table… Still can’t believe this whirlwind that just passed…

12:56 AM – I suddenly had an itch to play “A Hole in my Soul” by Aerosmith. And damn right, it hurts. Decided to get a copy of the lyrics online than having to type the lyrics myself while listening and pausing the song. Easier that way and I seem to be way too lazier right now to do anything that requires effort.

1:00 AM – With Gin Bottle in hand and shot glass on another, I pour myself a drink…. Smelling the almost sour Gin, I smirked and thought I should consume this here and now before it spoils. Yep, after drinking a shot, I think I really should before it’s wasted.

Searches for Lyrics and if possible, tabs. Womp. Song’s finished… playing it again. Uttering the words “Oh, fuck” again even on the second time around, I am wondering why I had to react the same way to the same line twice. And the line was saying “Is it over?” right after the narrated intro.

Felt like moving my Sniper back to Gonryun since this feels like Gonryun all over again but only worse. Really, I feel like staying in PvP and either mess up the next poor fusker who goes in or maybe I could keep getting killed and go back for more. . . Nah, maybe later when I’m less emotional. I don’t wanna be handing newbs too much of my PvP Panties.

Song just finished so I switched to “Crazy” still by Aerosmith. Found a file… Seems good enough. Copying then pasting here.



Title – Hole in my Soul

Artist – Aerosmith

Song – Hole In My Soul



I’m down a one way street

With a one night stand

With a one track mind

Out in no man’s land

(The punishment sometimes don’t seem to fit the crime)

Yeah there’s a hole in my soul

But one thing I’ve learned

For every love letter written

There’s another one burned

(So you tell me how it’s gonna be this time)



Is it over

Is it over

‘Cause I’m blowin’ out the flame

Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns the knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find there’s nothing there girl

Yeah I swear, I’m telling you girl yeah ’cause


There’s a hole in my soul that’s been killing me forever

It’s a place where a garden never grows

There’s a hole in my soul, yeah I should have known better

‘Cause your love’s like a thorn without a rose

Yeah Yeeeeaaaahhhh


(Same Riff as Verse 1)

I’m as dry as a seven year drought

I got dust for tears

And I’m all tapped out

(Sometimes I feel broke and can’t get fixed)

I know there’s been all kinds of shoes underneath your bed

Now I sleep with my boots on but you’re still in my head

(And something tells me this time I’m down to my last licks)


Is it over

Is it over

Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns the knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find there’s nothing there girl

Yeah I swear, I’m telling you girl yeah ’cause


There’s a hole in my soul that’s been killing me forever

It’s a place where a garden never grows

There’s a hole in my soul, yeah I should have known better

‘Cause your love’s like a thorn without a rose

Yeah Yeeeeaaaahhhh



SOLO (Same riff as verses)



Is it over

Is it over

‘Cause I’m blowin’ out the flame

Take a walk outside your mind    

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns the knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find there’s nothing there girl

Yeah I swear, I’m telling you girl yeah ’cause


There’s a hole in my soul that’s been killing me forever

It’s a place where a garden never grows

There’s a hole in my soul, yeah I should have known better

‘Cause your love’s like a thorn without a rose

Yeah Yeeeeaaaahhhh


OUTRO (Like intro)


Or maybe I should just paste the URL. Can anybody tell me how to use spoilers? I mean, those bars you click to show a hidden part of the text? Is it possible here on WordPress?

1:20 AM – Just listened to the song again but this time, I’ve been reading a few lines wherein I can’t make out the words because of the accent maybe. Switching the playlist to “Jaded” still by Aerosmith. At least it doesn’t hurt as much. But I gotta admit. My respect for Aerosmith just went up by one level. I just realized that their songs have actually happened to them and that’s why they rocked and no other band could play their shyt as well as they do. The one who wrote Hole in my soul must’ve, at one point had the same experience I just did… (But I assume they had better since theirs was probably an actual one night stand and mine is just a cyber thing.)

1:25 AM – Am now having a dilemma whether to post what actually happened or not… Maybe I’ll make this a consensus thing. If one reader asks for it to be posted, I’ll post… (Yes K, I’m waiting on you to dare me to post it. XD) But then the moment would have been gone by then and I may fail to describe is as well as I could describe it right now…

So maybe I’ll just post it and assume you wanna read about it. Hell, you’re still reading right now aintcha? So that means you’re interested. Otherwise you would’ve skipped everything.


Prologue (Just so you’d understand what Gonryun meant)

I was just a fresh new player on Kitsune RO and I chose to make a Sniper as a main char. I’ve already set up a Whitesmith (WS) to be my Money char. I could buy stuff with less money and sell stuff for more using the WS and I could just fight using the Sniper.

It was an unpopulated server which definitely needed populating. So, any new player was greeted warmly. I was fortunate enough to have been invited into one of the strongest guilds there were. Forever United (FU). And there was this other new payer who has introduced herself on the forums even while she hasn’t installed the game client yet. Naturally, I got a bit friendly from there on… but she had a bit of trouble installing so I had enough time to train ahead. When she got online, I was the first to greet her. Then I helped her train and max out as I was also trying to max my sniper out. Another Female player, a friend, was helping us.

Chatted a bit while training… Then even before we’re maxed out, I made a sudden move and then she said yes. I felt like a billion bucks right there and then and I swore an oath to myself never to leave the server.

Later on, I found a good cozy private spot in Gonryun Town… A floating island up high in the clouds… We could talk all we want while away from everybody else. She practically taught me the basics of Cybering. She was so hot with her words alone. I was all about it even though I had no idea how she looked like. She was located somewhere in Europe so you could just imagine the time zone difference. It was a good thing I had insomnia.

Gonryun became our Cyber Love nest for what seems to be the longest time… But in reality, It was approximately a whole week. Yeah, things are fast in RO. One can go from zero to hero within one week (or less, once guided towards the correct path) especially since this was a high rate server.

After that week of Bliss, I started falling off of my Work Load. Talking to her was taking up most of my time. So I had to tell her I gotta focus on work a bit maybe for a week… And that I’ll still be at our little patch of heaven whenever I get the chance. She naturally said it was ok. That I should focus first on my Real life woes and that she understood.

After that, I was able to re-focus on work a bit. Been able to do more for a day… But making sure I left my Sniper parked on our little spot. I’ll peep into RO after every piece of work I do just to be sure I won’t miss her when she comes.

Days passed and she’s still a no show…. I lost interest in work slowly… Gradually. I may have lost a good thing just because I had to focus on work. (Dermit, I sometimes hate reliving bad memories.) After about a month, (Mmm, yeah,even stopped blogging waiting up for her. She meant that much.) I gave up waiting and resumed my online RO life. Started going to more Wars of Emperium (WoE), farmed more stuff, made new friends… Fought new foes… Died too many times acting as cannon fodder since I was too weak to kill anyone anyway. XD

Life went on…


I was already typing the main part half way but then I suddenly remembered that we all agreed that anything and everything that went on in the Truth or dare game was to stay in it and that I can’t just blog about it. Wouldn’t feel right…

So I guess I’ll just summarize it as good as I can and skip the details where the T or D may be involved.


Basically, I broke a certain rule about Bros not hitting on Bros’ targets and I think I was the one who added that onto the Rule Book. (I’ll check later for verification. Too tired at the moment.) She was supposed to be an in-game friend’s target and I was just supposed to be Wing man… But disaster struck as I was too drawn into her that I seemed to gradually come to a point where I don’t care about rules anymore. I’m in love with this girl and I know the Bro would understand. . . Though I was still planning to tell him about it and clear things out. Ask for his blessing for me to go on with it and such. So I wasn’t even thinking of dissing the Rule Book.

Then I had the best Time of my life. Too good that I can almost feel her in my hands. I could almost feel her sweet gentle lips pressing against mine… I could almost feel the scent of her hair… I could almost feel her soft gentle embrace. If only it was real… (Yeah, if you’re reading this, I wish. Haha.)

Oh just to feel just that again, I unno what I’ll give up. . . The feeling of being desired… Wanted… As a man is to a Woman.

But I seemed to have drawn an early conclusion. How stupid of me… And way more stupid of me by staying online after she said goodnight and she logged out. I stayed on relishing what just happened feeling like a billion bucks. Forgetting for a moment how the fates hath a habit of screwing things up for me… Or how they tend to just give me a taste of the good stuff then take it away from me.


2:18 AM – Sleep creeping onto me while I poured the last shot. I needed a change of BGM so I decided on playing “Red Lips” by Chicosci. Yeah, seems the message in the song is a harsher version of the kind and gentle words she used on me when she logged back. She said she couldn’t sleep.

But I gotta hold the last parts and just skip to the summaries and bottomlines. Kitsune players may be reading this right now and if there’s someone to be humiliated, let it be just me. I don’t want the server to lose more players as one flame was the first to leave… I would like the other to stay.

There was never an “us” anyway… but there could’ve been. I was feeling it. I had a good chance. But then in the end, it’s a bit complicated…. I may not be able to divulge the details as some parts are too personal on her part for me to share…

I’ll just say I suddenly lost all my chances. Of course, she still opened a window of opportunity but I believe she was just being nice to me since I was nice to her… And she just doesn’t wanna lose a friend… And I sure as hell would love to keep her as a friend. It may hurt as heck every moment I sneak a glance at her which would remind me of that fateful night, which would remind me of a chance which as I told her would “haunt me until I get the chance to make it real.” To which she replied “Maybe”, but I wanna keep her still… Even as a friend. (If you’re reading this, those memories are already hardwired to my Brain and I will never ever forget. Thank you so much for that unbelievably beautiful memory you just shared with me. Dammit, I do love you.)

Right now, after finishing the Quatro Cantos and after having gone through much, I feel I am finally getting the sleep I deserve which I should’ve gone for like five hours ago and she may have had the chance to change her mind by a slim chance.

But the fates have spoken and it is final. I now sleep with a fateful memory clenched tightly in my arms…


Here’s to hoping I don’t eventually end up as another memory again.



In case you’re interested, here are a few links. Yes, I am advertising. Lol. Deal with it. XD

Kitsune Ragnarok Online

Kitsune Ragnarok Online Forums

No, really. I wanna know coz it seems to be, for the longest time, that my brain refuses to communicate with the rest of me.

It’s as if someone has hit the off button. Please, please, please would somebody hit that button again for me.

But then again, mebbe I just need to get something that used to make my mind work… An ice cold bottle of beer and a lap dance.


Right now, for the record breaking time of… too long since I’ve already forgotten how long, All I’ve been having is cheap whiskey which the wife bought because the bottle looked fancy and I had to consume it all because it’s not good to waste money. The stuff tasted too bad that it took me like two months to finish it up. One Camfrog session I remember saying to myself “Yep, I’m gonna finish this bottle tonight.” (it really looked almost empty. I swear) But when reality knocked in, it took two more nights to finish.

The only thing I could think of while I was gulping down all of that awesome gruesome face wincing vile fluid was that “I can’t believe Bon Jovi actually likes this.” But it also dawned to me that he would’ve been buying the expensive whiskey. Not the cheap one I was drinking.


So now, I just opened up the bottle of my favourite good old fashioned GSM (80 Proof, not the Blue one. Kinda hate the blue one. Too mellow. XD) which I was saving up for a special occasion. Well, this is a special occasion. I’m starting to write without thinking. I think I can’t wait up ’til my mind works again. No, that would just take too long.

So, with shot glass with a double GSM shot in hand, I raise my glass and propose a toast…. To my dead mind. May its soul rest in peace. And may it never rise again… (Just imagine…. If zombies like to eat brains, what would a zombie brain want to eat?) Cheers!!!

Anyway, news on my side of the planet is that I’ve successfully built up my reputation in Kitsune RO and I’ve also successfully renamed all my characters (Well, all the characters that mattered anyway.) in order to throw away that reputation. (Building up a new one. Kinda liking it. Lmao.)


When it comes to work, this is the worst season ever. Things I used to do within a span of hours now takes me weeks. Yep. Brain IS dead. Lol.


And by the way, belated Merry Christmas Everyone. Yeah, I do owe you that. So, for me to make it up, I’ll be drinking as many shots as there are readers of this post.


BTW, the new and updated Skype ROCKS. If you haven’t tried it yet, try it. It’ll blow your mind.

(If you have Skype but not updated, for chrissakes hit that update button. XD)

Unbelievable but it seems Globe is afraid of I’m not sure on this yet and I am in the process of gathering more solid Data on this.

I happened to stumble upon this earlier this morning by accident. I was downloading some files I badly needed and was using my torrent software when I had an itch to take a speedtest since I’m getting zero download speed again.

Surprisingly, as I was monitoring the built-in connection meter from the Globe Tattoo software, I noticed a 1.8 MB signal spike. It was just a momentary spike so I didn’t pay it attention. Then I went through with the speedtest, I noticed that there was another BIG Signal Spike. This time, it was like 2.2 MBPS. Then the speedtest registered 2.2 MBPS.

Then I noticed that my download speed was good all of a sudden. It was pure joy and as I was high spirited about the sudden miracle, I tried to close my browser half expecting my download speed to drop. . . And it did!

Afterwards, I opened the Speedtest page again just to see if it was a valid discovery and it had a good effect. I left that page as it is until I finished downloading. Yeah, there were times when I still hit zero for a minute or two but then, I’ll just refresh the speedtest page and my speed recovers slowly from a 50KBPS to a 200KBPS then it peaks up again to 1.7-2.2MBPS.

I’ll conduct another experiment of this sort when I get more money for load. My Super Surf is about to expire at 9am. Lol!

After searching for ways to control my currently unnecessary vices (i.e. Drinking, Clubbing, etc. Unecessary because I don’t have the spending power anymore. Lol) I found that Ragnarok has been the only thing that could hold back my urges to go out. Plus Private servers are free so I only have to pay for my internet time.

Another point would be that Ragnarok would be the only MMORPG that would run well enough (but still with lags and all) with my current (lame) internet speed.

The first server which I got on was Intense Ragnarok Online. (iRO) Ok, everything was running smoothly. I was building up new online relationships. I even started a guild with a friend. We were gathering people in preparation to future Guild Wars.

But sadly, my stay in Intense was short lived since they had this Maintenance wherein they shut down for like a week or so. Then they needed players to download another 1.7 GB installer. (The first 1.7 GB installer I downloaded for like a month or so. I can’t wait that long.

I can’t have that so I looked for another server and I found Dreamer RO. It’s a high rate server. Faster levelling, insane drop rates. Custom pets, custom items. And the best part is that I only needed to download a small (300MB or so) patch to get me started. All I had to do was create a copy of my previous iRO installation and patch it with the Dreamer patch.

It was fun while it lasted but right now, I don’t think the server is holding up. They’re having frequent bug and everything. What’s depressing is that they have roll-backs every time the bugs happen since people normally abuse these bugs. It’s a shame since it was ranked #1 in the High Rate Server category.

Even though I’ve already started a new guild within Dreamer, I’ve decided it best to search for yet another server or maybe I’ll just search for people nearby who has copies of the new iRO installer.

Intense is up and running again so I guess it’s a better option. At least they don’t get bugs like the ones in Dreamer.

In the mean time, I’d have to fight all the urges while I wait for a good enough solution.


Are any Psychiatists reading this? Anyone offering free services? I feel I’m getting a case of depression and I’m broke so I can’t pay for professional services right now.

There has been a little movement in Tom’s Facebook. Please refer to the pic below. (Link within the pic. Just click it)

Compared to the earlier Screen Cap, he apparently changed his Profile Pic. The only reason for him not to be responsible for this is if he has other people to manage his Facebook which is most unlikely because if he was dead, they’d have posted something already or at least they won’t change the profile pic.

Having observed this, I hypothesize that he ain’t dead. Pissed off, most probably, but not dead.

So, for all the crying kids out there (Rhien, tahan na… Please. Buhay pa si Spongebob.), there’s always a reason to keep smilin’.

Lesson learned: Don’t ever believe in Rumors especially if it spreads from the Internet… most specially from Facebook.